Hades Archer – For The Diabolical Ages

Welcome to Chile – The fifth largest exporter and the eighth largest producer of wine in the world. I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about Chile except the wine facts but once my ears caught wind of this hell-bound project called Hades Archer, I was very excited about my future with the culture of Chile. The image I get of Chile is usually just pure desert and miserable heat. If that’s the case, I can see why black metal exists in Chile and I can understand why everyone is so pissed off. Hades Archer, the black metal/thrash behemoth that have been putting out demos, eps and splits since 2006 has finally released their first full-length this year and it’s a beast of a record. “For The Diabolical Ages” consists of some older demo tracks that have been polished up, a bit revamped and some brand new tracks, so you get the old and new in a package that will make you cream in whatever you’re wearing on the bottom half of your body.

As the castles of Hades start to overflow with melting hot lava, we find ourselves pleading to Satan himself to let us run free and to never return to such as nightmare. Leaving nothing uncovered, we hear screams from the pits below us and massive amounts of purging as “Sodoma Eden” starts to play. “For The Diabolical Ages” delivers gut churning screams with some very fast beats of chaos that sound as if Satan himself was at the helm of this project. It’s impossible to fight the urges I get to blast blackened thrash metal through my speakers so that my whole neighborhood catches fire while I do a happy dance in my underwear. The dance is similar to my “I gotta piss, hurry up in the bathroom!” dance but with a bit more force and joy.

“For The Diabolical Ages” might be the debut full-length from Hades Archer but it’s a record that’s full of amazing, full-on assault tracks. It has no fillers, zero bore factor and a great amount of intensity. The whole record is crush, crush, crush, beat, beat, beat, until you decide you’ve had enough and finally let it just pulverize you into tiny little pieces. The sixth track on the record, “Into The Black Mass”, is the slowest song on the record, only because it’s not a blasting assault to your brain. The track has melodic riffs and very slow, pounding drumming that work perfectly, especially in the middle of the record. After “Into The Black Mass” though, the next six tracks are terror filled hate with a teaspoon of Lucifer. Hell, sometimes certain tracks are too much for me to handle but I let it devour me as if it’s the last orgasm I’ll ever have.

“For The Diabolical Ages” – Think of this record as a woman giving you pleasure while you’re strapped down to a chair. You know it’s going to feel amazing and the way her mouth just does magic over your throne but the second you’re about to explode, she swallows your whole member into her mouth. It’s sensitive yet very relaxing and beyond enjoyable. Hades Archer is similar in the way that they will build you up very, very high and once you feel the explosion, they’ll devour every ounce of you until you wave your white flag and surrender your soul to them.

Kuravilu Production Myspace. Official Last.fm. Deathrash Armageddon. Official Metal-Archives. Download the record here.